Soccer Referee Anti-Training Video

Here's a bit of humor to take the edge of the last game you did.

Let's ALL remember why we are here!!!

OK, everyone, the regular season is coming to an end. We have all done a great job in serving our kids.
Now the Region Tournament is coming for most of you so let's ALL remember why
we are here.

This picture speaks for itself.

HOW TO KEEP FANS OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Mike Kirkman 1/6/2006

Introduction

High numbers of soccer referees quit after a single game or a single season. This high attrition rate causes serious problems getting enough officials on the fields. When you talk to those who have quit about their experiences, they will sometimes tell you that referring soccer was awful and they promise to never referee again. Maybe these people should never have started refereeing in the first place - maybe they just didn’t have what it takes to continue. Maybe the game is better off without them. Well, maybe so. But maybe, if they had some preparation for what they would experience, and some help in dealing with the head game I call "help of the fans", they wouldn't have quit. Who knows what talent was lost when these referees quit? This presentation is intended to help referees who have trouble with fans getting into their heads. The goal is to keep fans and coaches out of referee's heads so that the referees can do their jobs and have fun doing them.

Presentation

I started refereeing soccer in 1984 when my daughter's U-7 team needed a referee. I registered with United States Soccer Federation in 1986 and started running lines that year. You could say that I have 18 years experience or you could say that I have one year’s experience, and have repeated it 18 times.

Eighteen Years Experience One Year Experience - 18 Times

In the last 18 years, the most advanced game I have ever refereed (in the middle) was a U-16 boy's District- 6 IAL (select) match. I have quit refereeing nearly every one of the last 18 years.

I regularly quit because I let the fans and the coaches get into my head. When I listened to them and started to think that maybe they were right and I really was the worst referee they had ever had, my self-esteem took a beating. I use to lay awake at night thinking of all the possible mistakes I could make the next day, and would hear in my head the verbal abuse I would get from the coaches and the parents. I would almost get sick worrying about the upcoming games. I would worry while driving to the field and I would walk out on the field with a knot in my stomach - not the anticipation of an exciting time, but the dread of walking into the abyss of ridicule and rejection. Finally, I asked the same question, "is it really worth it"? The answer was usually, "no", so I would quit.

This year, something happened. I can't tell you exactly what it was, but for the first time in my referring career, I didn’t worry about the fans. I didn’t listen to the fans. They were there and they yelled, but it was as if their yells were directed somewhere else. I heard some of the calls for substitutions and some of the calls for players down, but the rest of the "help" was just "white noise". I don't know if this change happened over a period of time, or if it was an epiphany. Whatever it was, for the first time in 18 years I was really having fun referring.

I want to share what I have learned this year. Hopefully, it will help others who may still have problems with fans getting into their heads.

Fan's Characteristics

This Fall, I went to watch the Hanford versus West Valley match at Hanford High School. Steve Schaus was in the middle. Mike Jansky and Mikhail Alnajjar were the AR's. My wife, Pam, and I sat down on one of the bleachers among the West Valley fans. In the next one and half-hours, I had a course in Fans-101, which was very illuminating.

Soon after the match started, the West Valley fans became abusive with their comments directed at Steve. On each challenge for the ball, if a call wasn’t made they yelled out the call that they thought should have been made (and always for their side), and if a call was made against their team, they called out the "correct" call along with derogatory references to Steve's ancestors. That day, I discovered some basic truths about fans.

The first truth I learned that day is that NO FANS ARE OBJECTIVE. If you don't believe me, look at yourself when you are watching your own kid's games. Fans don't see what really happens because they are watching from the emotional level, not from an intellectual level. Their view is slanted because it is their kids out there. Their kids would never do anything wrong and the referees must be against them. Fans often believe that their kids' teams never lost a game - the referees took it away from them.

A recent experience has confirmed this truth for me. My brother in-law is a football referee and is normally very objective. His daughters go to Richland High School. My daughters went to Kamiakin High School. He and I watched the Richland versus Kamiakin girl’s basketball game together and it was like we were watching different games. He complained about the fouls not called for the yellow team and I complained about the fouls not called for the red team. Neither of us was objective. We were fans. When I finally saw what was going on, I thought it was pretty funny.

A second truth I learned is that FANS DON'T SEE THE SAME GAME THAT THE REFEREE DOES. People don't see what is there even when they think they do. Experiments have been run where several people viewing the same event come up with many different descriptions of what happened. Even the video or the film may not catch the truth unless the angle is correct. Remember the foul called by the American referee in the 1998 world cup for holding in the penalty box that could not be seen on the video replay? A few days later another video was shown that clearly showed the foul?

During that game last fall, the West Valley fans were seeing a totally different game than the one Steve was watching. They saw a different game because they were on the side of the field and Steve was in the middle. What you see often depends on where you are and the angle you have to watch the play. Take offside as an example. You will regularly hear someone call for offside or complain about an offside call, but these people did not see the situation when offside is determined - when the ball is played. Usually, when offside is determined by the assistant referee (AR), only two people on that field are watching the player in question when the ball is played - the AR and the player's mother!

A third truth is that FANS DON'T KNOW THE RULES OF THE GAME. They think they do, but it never ceases to surprise me just how ignorant most fans are about the laws, and about foul recognition. They are just wrong a lot of the time. One of the most common fouls the fans call for is "handball". Every time a ball and a hand contact, you will hear someone yell, "handball". How many times does a player actually play the ball, and how many times does the ball just hit the hand? One rule of thumb is that if you never call a handball, you will be correct about 90% percent of the time.

About half way through the Hanford versus West Valley match, I began to laugh quietly each time these fans let loose with another barrage. They were funny. As I looked at them, soon all I could see were clowns - clowns with the red curly hair and the big red noses. Bozo had come to the match that day and had brought several of his friends.

Now, think about this. If someone you knew, a fan for example, was so biased that his judgment was bad, and he also had flawed knowledge, would you really listen to him if he try to tell you how to do your job? Would you take advice from such a person? Of course you would not! You are not doing yourself any favors accepting advice from them. Ignore the "help" - it isn't any good. Remember that it can only hurt you if you let it get into your head.

Referees' Job

I talked to Steve after the Hanford-West Valley match and asked him how he dealt with all the "help" he got from the West Valley fans. Steve's reply was that he didn't hear any of it because he was focused on the game and he put all of his attention inside the white lines.

When we focus on what is important, we can keep the fans out of our heads. Here are a few questions to help keep focus.

- Why am I there?
- What purpose do I have?
- What is my job?

It took me a long time to develop my own answer to these questions. My answer is that, “I am there to make sure two things happen:

1) That the players have a fair match. They have a chance to play without having ‘soccer gangsters’ play outside the rules and gain unfair advantage by doing so, and

2) The players have a chance to play and not be afraid of being hurt”.

The players work hard to keep in shape and to develop skills so that they can play well and enjoy the game. They deserve to have a chance to perform without the interference of a player, or players, who want to win at any price even if it means playing like "gangsters".

I AM THERE FOR THE PLAYERS AND ONLY THE PLAYERS

Each time I walk on a soccer pitch, I remind myself why I am there. Sometimes during a game, I have to remind myself again and again why I am there. I repeat the power phrase to myself, and sometimes out loud,

"FOCUS ON THE GAME -- STAY INSIDE THE WHITE LINES".

It is easy for me to let my mind drift away from the match at hand, and from the players. Some matches are harder to keep focused than others, but when I keep those ideals in mind, and when I keep my attention directed toward the players and inside the white lines, the fans fade away. Everything outside the white lines, except for (but sometimes including) the assistant referees becomes non-existent. Keeping this level of CONCENTRATION TAKES WORK AND PRACTICE. It isn't free, it isn't automatic and sometimes it isn’t easy. Practice and discipline are required to develop concentration and focus.

Things happen quickly in a soccer match, and the referee has to pay attention to what is going on AT THE MOMENT. In a normal match, the referee makes a decision every three to six seconds. That means the referee makes ten or twenty decisions per minute. Do the math and you will see that the referee makes over a thousand decisions and close to two thousand decisions during a single ninety-minute match.

Somewhere in those almost two thousand decisions, the referee will make a mistake. When we make mistakes, the fans start to help, but we can't think about that because in a few seconds we have to make another decision and then another. We have to STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT. We can't worry about a decision that was made in the past even if the past was just five seconds ago. We can't correct for mistakes we make because that only leads to more mistakes. Most of the time, the mistakes will not have an influence on the outcome of the match, and if we start drifting away from the "now", we are not focused on the match the way we need to be.

Another important tool to keep fans out of your head is to keep your sense of humor. If you can laugh at what is going on around you, your head will remain fairly "fan free". Here are two examples of referees keeping their sense of humor.

Once a coach yelled at Stewart White to tell Stewart that he was the world's worse referee. Stewart laughed and yelled back, "what a coincidence, the world’s worse referee and the world’s worse coach on the same field at the same time".

I was once running a line and the referee made a particularly unpopular call against the home team. Out of the crowd came a cry, "that's the worse call in all the history of soccer". At halftime, the other assistant referee came up to the middle and said, "you know, that just shows how ignorant these fans really are - I've personally seen you make much worse calls than that one".

To summarize:

Refereeing is fun when the only person you have in your head is you. When you let the fans into your head and listen to their help, it gets too crowded and the job starts to be "not fun".

Keep in mind who is offering the help. Don't accept it unless you have special reason to think it has value.

Keep in mind what is important and why you are there. If the job you are doing is for the players, the fans disappear.

Keep in mind where all of your attention has to be. Don’t let past events ruin the present. You can't go back and fix anything so keep focused on what is happening at the moment.

Keep in mind that a sense of humor is a necessity to have fun refereeing. Keep your perspective and don't take yourself too seriously. Sometimes the fans are funny, sometimes we are funny. Look for the fun in every event.

Hopefully, if we can keep our heads fan, coach and/or player free, our refereeing careers can be more satisfying and more fun, and we might even improve our performances.

Mike Kirkman started refereeing in 1984 when his daughter's U7 team needed a team ref. He has refereed in the Tri Cities, Washington for the last 21 years, and is a USSF licensed referee.

AR's switching sides at half

When I recently did a BU10 game the AR's asked if they should
switch sides for the start of the 2nd half.
I asked why in the world would you do that? I was informed
that SOME Center Referees have them do that.

When I asked why they said they didn't know just that some
Centers have made them do it.

I informed them that NOWHERE in the Laws of the Game (LOTG)
is it required, recommended, advised, instucted or even interpeted
that the ARs switch sides after halftime. And I know of no ref instuctor
who would advise that. In fact it can be considered to be unfair to
the players, as they don't get to experience BOTH ARs call thier game.
Both offense and defense.

Center Referees if one AR is stronger than the other just shade
your positioning to be on the weaker side of the pitch more,
If that is the reason for your switching sides.

So Referees please don't ask your ARs to switch side after the half.
You are interpeting the LOTG incorrectly.

And ARs, if a Center tells you to switch, do it with a smile BUT
let him/her know that nowhere is this required, recommended or even
mentioned by the LOTG.

Blow the whistle Ref ! !

Although complaints about referees usually are biased or self-serving it is important for us as referees to be able to learn from these comments.

When a games first starts it's best to call most of the obvious fouls you see.
Elbows, pushing, tripping are just some of the fouls you will see at the beginning of a lower division game, U6, U8 and to some extent U10.. Whistle these quickly and loudly. You are not only letting the sidelines know you are in control of the game, but, MORE IMPORTANTLY, you are letting the players know what you exspect from them.
Remember ADVANTAGE should only be called in the Attacking 3rd, when a real scoring opportunity is possible.

They will play to the level you allow. And that is totally OK.

As the game progresses you allow them to become more physical, as long as BOTH teams are willing to play that way.
An EXAMPLE:
An attacker AND defender are BOTH trying to gain control of a ball. They are BOTH using their hands on each other, both trying to gain the upper hand. At this point there is NO FOUL as the players are BOTH playing at a level they want.
(Although, both sidelines will be yelling that the other is fouling)

Another EXAMPLE:
Same situation, but this time only the attacker is using his hands to push off the defender. This is a foul.

It is important to remember that the sidelines don't decide the level of play, the PLAYERS do, with the oversight of the referee team.

One final comment, "The consequences of INACTION are worse than the consequences
of ACTION.

How to help a coach or parent NOT TO lose control

It is the responsiblity of the Referee to maintain control of his/her game.
You are there to MAKE sure that it is SAFE, FUN and FAIR for the players. THAT'S IT.
The sidelines will enjoy the game if you call a game that is SAFE and FAIR to the best of your ability.

If a coach/parent starts to display signs of negative conduct, in a game that is being called by you, in your opinion in a safe and fair manner, you as the referee MUST act.

Examples of conduct that should require some type of action by the referee:

1. Yelling at the referee or just speaking loudly about calls or non-calls.
2. Yelling at or speaking loudly and/or following the AR after AR makes calls.
3. Loud comments to any player that are not Positive, Instructional or Encouraging (PIE)

If these types of action are NOT dealt with quickly you can lose control of a match.
Remember these are not the ONLY types of behavior you can deal with but in general these are the ones you will experience most.

Now it's important to remember that, to start coaches and parents DO NOT come to game ready to display negative behavior. They really just want a FAIR and SAFE game.

This is where the problems start. Most do not understand that it is NOT their place to decide at what level of SAFE and FAIR a game is played. It is the players with the help of the referee. After all soccer is a physical game no matter what others may think.

Now to start, when you notice any of the above, first review your own refereeing style. Is the game TOO physical? Are you letting the players get away with too much? Then adjust your calls. Talk to your ARs to see if they can help. (They are Referees too, and it is a team effort) And ARs, don't be afraid to tell the Center that he/she needs to call certain things. As I was taught years ago, when it comes to fouls, the consequences of INACTION are worse than the consequences of ACTION.

So now, you are still noticing negative actions. Sometimes just a stern look in the direction of the offending person will work. You can use the universal symbol for quite please, finger vertical across your lips. Or maybe just a little comment like,
"Thanks, coach but I got this game". Or "Sir, could you keep you comments positive?"

So none of these worked, what do you do?
Calmly ask the coach onto the pitch and explain that you and your ARs are calling this game to the best of your abilities. This is, in your opinion, the style of game the players want to play. And now you would appreciate it if he/she would restrict any future comments to be along the AYSO required P.I.E. (See above) to the players. Then just walk away, this should be a one way discussion, no need for further discussion at this time.
(If the problem is a parent ask the coach to relay these comments. After all you both really are on the same side with it comes to out of control parents.)

The next steps are entirely up to you. But they can range from Cautioning, Sending off and even suspending a game.
Please note that although you are told that you don't SHOW THE CARDS to adults this DOESN'T mean you can't use them. It is just verbal. "Sir/Coach I am cautioning you for dissent" or "Madam/Coach I am afraid I must ask you to leave".

In U8 in a send off you would just call it a time out, either for the remaining period or the remainder of the game, you decide. And please allow the coach to substitute for the player. Use this tool only for the safety of the other players or for obviously intentional fouls which can effect the outcome of a game.

In U10 this is like regular soccer so use cautions and send-offs as needed, just do it verbally and don't show the cards.

These are all tools at your disposal. Use them as you need, but use them cautiously, as once you use them they are gone, and you must use the next step.

Please at all times keep your cool. Nobody wins when a referee loses control.

Remember one thing, don't be aftaid to use these tools, as they are designed to protect out kids from NEGATIVE experiences, and out of control coaches and parents are nothing but negative. Besides at least 1/2 of the field will be on your side.